Sex is sweeter for many when they feel that their partner is theirs to possess alone. That their intimate behaviour is private and personal, between, just the two of them. This is considered normal in our western societies today. Of course, when things go wrong and adultery is suspected, male partners often go berserk and try and kill their female partners. Jealousy is a green eyed monster, after all.
What about those few people who enjoy sharing their partners and themselves with others outside of the confines of their relationship or marriage? What is wrong with these people and why are they so different to the norm? Do they really care about their partners? We are not all the same, in terms of what we value as human beings; some of us do not want to possess our partners. In fact, we wish to share some beautiful deep moments with them but respect their individuality.
We are all, actually, alone inside our own consciousnesses. You may think and feel that you are almost a part of your spouse’s essential reality, but you are not. We will all die alone, someone may be holding your hand and sitting by the bed, but they are not you. Alone is not to be confused with lonely, respecting ‘aloneness’ is not the same as feeling lonely; quite the opposite. Separating your need for security from human relationships, or at least becoming aware of that need within your relationships, is the first step on the spiritual journey within the state of relationship or marriage.
If you love someone set them free! Someone once said something akin to that statement, it might of actually been about releasing lions into the wild; but it has relevance here too. Tantric wife swapping: when the sex gets spiritual, is a very crude way of putting this situation. Wife swapping as a term still reeks of patriarchal control and tantra steps beyond all that bullshit. It is about energy, satori and the kundalini fire; which will burn down the house of illusion. Tantra workshops can help set you free from your fears; and you can learn to trust your own experiences. Things like nuru massage, the body slide sensation, can get you out of your intellect and into your physical self. The mind does not have all the answers; much of it is full with other people’s opinions.
When you do it differently, when you travel the road less travelled, the way can be bumpy ahead and you want to be wearing a good pair of shoes. When it comes to sex and relationships and you step outside of the accepted routes, you can really be in for some interesting times; as old Mister Confucius would say. Let’s face it people just don’t like it when other people do things differently with their dicks and vaginas. Sex has been happening for a long time on this planet, relatively speaking, and evolution has had a big say in what has been going down.
Angela and Bob emailed us from Nottingham to ask: What’s the average length of a wife-swapping relationship? Which is a very good question, I suppose, if you are looking ahead and not living in the moment. Great sex is all about being here now, I find. There is statistical data for a very small number of people enjoying long lasting alternatively structured intimate relationships. Over time, however, lust has been seen not to be able to sustain relationships of any kind. When you combine this with societal disapproval from family and friends for wife swapping and Polyamory it is not a recipe for a long life.
Can a lustful association between couples evolve into a highly enlightened, civilised mutual-sharing co-operative? It takes special people to swing in an enlightened way which does not damage other intimates. Human relationships involve more than just sexual appetites; they involve shared feelings and emotional support. Most long lasting relationships are built on security and shared investments, like children and property. The flames of lust die down and are replaced by the responsibilities of living a shared existence. This is the reality for the majority of human beings in the world.
Wife swapping and polyamory: how long can it lust? However, Angela and Bob, you can be brave and buck the trend. Go for what you want and take the adventure; bugger the statistics. Reach out and meet new couples in search for similar things as yourselves. Sensual massage can be a good place to start, perhaps, look out for online classifieds mentioning massage and/or you can join swinger’s clubs. Every great journey is begun with one small step and taking a deep breath before embarking. Lust, life and laughter are out there waiting for you both and I am sure that you will find a berth for your pleasure craft.
For some men, seeing their partner have sex with another man is a great sexual thrill – but why? Scientists have now discovered that it’s all about the sperm wars. Biologically, knowing another man’s sperm is set to impregnate one’s partner causes some men’s arousal button to be triggered at a heightened level. This intense sexual “rush” is what is now regarded as the genetic trigger for the erotic practice of cuckolding.
Understanding the psychological ramifications of your own biology is an important part of finding sexual fulfilment. Science doesn’t seem to be sexy, quite the reverse really, every science teacher I had at school was a total dweeb; which was one of the reasons I failed biology. Interestingly now that I am a bit older I love reading about science and biology in particular. We all shoot the messenger in life I find.
If you have ever been involved in a bizarre love triangle you will know that it is full of emotional pain and intense sexual highs. Sex news tells us that it is natural for the male to want to conquer the female and if he is competing with another male, then he, generally, raises his game. He is harder, more easily aroused, and cuming in buckets, to win that sperm war. Cuckolding and sperm wars: the genetic race excites the alpha males to outperform and subjugate the competition. Many blokes will shy away from situations like this, but some love the bitter sweet nature of the tryst.
The human brain has evolved into three distinct sections, with the brain stem at the base connecting to the top of the spine; this is our instinctive first brain. This has been described as our reptilian brain, it is our first reaction, our instinctive reaction. Next, comes the cerebellum, which is located at the back of the brain stem. The cerebellum controls coordination for balance and movement; and despite its comparatively small size has more neurons than any other part of the brain. The cerebrum, also known as the cortex is the largest part of our brain and is divided into four sections. This brain is why we have evolved from simple primates into creatures which invent gods to explain our own complexity. Language, memory, reasoning, processing sensory information and a host of other functions reside in this large area. The limbic system contained within the cerebrum is our emotional brain, containing the thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdala and hippocampus.
The point of this description of our brains is that sex resides in the brain and in a number of the parts of the brain. Genitals are the sensors but the real satisfaction happens between the ears. Sex at the most basic level is reproductive, but if you have ever watched lions mating it is not a patch on what we as humans experience. Sexual arousal and orgasm affect the limbic system especially; it is a feeling state when sex is truly great. Remember to feed all the parts of your brain with sex that really shakes the peaches from the tree.
We live in a virtual world. Yes, we have all heard that before, but is it really true? It may be more true to say that we live in a dual world, the one we experience with all of our five senses, and another which digitally records our lives like a real time diary. A couple of generations of younger folk have grown up with this technology and it is a very real part of their lives. They are Inspector Gadget generations obsessed with seeing themselves in the digital sphere.
Digital penetration: sex in the virtual age. Yes we have all been well and truly penetrated by the online experience. Pornography has blossomed into a global flowering that some might call a weed. Social media is alive with the spring time sexuality of its billions of users. Images and texts telling what were once private stories but now are fodder for public consumption. Sex on webcams is replacing plain old phone sex. Soon we will be having sex with robots and then robots will be having sex with robots. Some might say that this is already happening.
Can any of this ever be truly satisfying? Is it just adult entertainment for dummies? The desire to be seen to be doing cool things has generally waned with age in the past. People begin to realise that life is better lived on whatever small stage they may inhabit than pretending forever on the world’s stage. Be here now! As the old sixties counterculture mantra used to go. Get inside of your own life and stop looking at it through the eyes of others via a digital agency. Facebook friends aren’t real. Twitter is not a real conversation. Sexting is not real sex.
When the power blacks out and you have to light that candle, have a look at your partner, husband or wife, and/or have a look in the mirror. Technology fills in some of the gaps in a busy life, but it is not what life is really about. When the commercial passenger jet you are on is going down, will you be on the phone, texting, or will you be making peace with yourself? Is the reflection of your life in the data and digital images stored in the cloud who you are? Or are you something more, that just, might not have been recorded by a gadget?
Sex is fuelled by a primal urge necessary for the reproduction of animals and will it be programmed into twenty first century robots? Probably but why?
Inviting an escort over for a threesome can be a great way to reinvigorate your sex life. We all know that married life can hit a few flat spots in the boudoir and a no strings attached professional lover can be the answer. Make it a special occasion gift for yourselves: for your anniversary, birthday or something more regular. It could be scheduled in once a month or once a week; depending on your budget. Getting the blood pumping and those hormones secreting is definitely worth the expense; feel adventurous and you will feel younger within yourself.
We just received an email from Carleen and Mike from Nottingham, who reported that they spiced up their sex life during a recent trip down-under. While doing the usual touristy things in Australia such as fine dining, lazing on the beach and patting furry marsupials, they made a deal with each other to try out an escort or a brothel in every Australian city they visited. Carleen likes to nibble on the clit of a female stranger and Mike is happy to watch, stroking himself contentedly. Wife-swapping with an escort in Brisbane made their holiday. Whatever your position and whatever you are into, the right escort can make you happy.
Getting that right escort does involve asking the right questions before making the booking. Don’t be shy because it is better to get it right over the phone, or online, than have it all go balls up on the day or night. Make sure that your working girl provides the types of things that you and your wife are into. Make a list and check the boxes off. Top of the list, is she into threesomes, ask the question don’t just assume; and if you get the right answer tick it off. Does she offer full sex? Yes tick it off. Is the sex protected ala condoms? Yes tick it off then. Will she do mutual oral? No probs tick it off. What about anal, if you are into a bit of back passage action? Ok then tick it off.
These women are professionals and they don’t mind talking about sex; so grill them for the right information and you can guarantee a great night. Of course discuss the price and what exactly you are paying for; get her to break it down for you re-activities. Inviting that escort over to your place or hotel room for an exciting threesome will change the colour of your day; more than a crunchie.
The wonders of exploring a foot fetish – where will it lead you? I have to share a little secret immediately; my first job in the big bad world was as a junior shoe salesman at Florsheim shoes. Yes I slipped off the slippers of, well, not many Cinderellas but a hell of a lot of businessmen. There is something sensual about treating people’s feet, the whole removing and replacing of a shoe; it is an act of grace. Jesus and his whole milieu were into washing the feet of their associates; it was a holy act. John tells us about Jesus washing the feet of his disciples and his recommendation that they all should wash each other’s feet. Hell it must have been an orgy of feet washing in old Jerusalem town.
But I imagine that psychologically it would be hard to hold a grudge against someone whom you have just washed their feet. The very act of bathing feet is soothing and something special; a healing ritual. Similarly, facilitating the ‘trying on’ of several pairs of brand new brogues creates a special bond between buyer and shoe salesperson. Often the punter is embarrassed about his or her foot odour, after walking the city streets, especially on a hot day. This immediately puts them in your favour and you assure them that it is entirely normal. Our feet are our connection to the earth; they are our first contact with the ground wherever we travel to.
When we walk into the boudoir of a lover, we do so upon our feet and they take us into the lair of the sexual beast; whether fox or cougar or a bloke. The missionary position is interesting because we do not stand upon our feet during congress in this style. The feet get to rest and perhaps, deserve some special treat all of their own; some toe sucking and tickling at least. A foot massage is divine and when they use oils and creams it is orgasmic. The podiatrist performs a valuable role in our community healing the feet and fitting feet to shoes. The journey is long without comfortable foot wear and hundreds of thousands of soldiers have died in wars because they lost their boots; just think of the Kokoda Trail.
The sex industry social media channels have opened new doors, they have got their foot in the door early and are reaping rich rewards. They will scratch your back, rub your tummy and stroke your tired feet. So next time you are in the sack with mister or missus right, please don’t forget their feet.
Are you planning your next jaunt to the United Kingdom for a little rumpy pumpy? Perhaps, you are tired of the lay of the land in your own neighbourhood and are looking to being freshened up by exposure to some new hills and down dales. Sexual adventures in the UK are the stuff of dreams with such a multicultural population. If you thought the variety of take away food in your own country was pretty good just wait and see what we have in store for you here.
Exotic ladies and gents with natural appetites unhindered by any tyrannies of distance; everything is so accessible in the UK. The motorway system is second to none and public transport is affordable and prevalent. Exploration north or south, east or west, is all within arm’s reach, as you lay your paws on some prize pussy or pizzle. The accents change as you make your way around this magic isle but not where and what bits go where; unless you are seeking a bit of trannie action. The sexy SMS chat will amaze you with the lovely accents coming out of the other end of the phone; Geordie, Cockney, Scots, Irish and Welsh.
Are you swinging with your partner on this trip? Well, swinger’s parties and clubs dot this emerald island; servicing couples endeavouring to keep their relationships fresh over the years. You can even do a swinger’s tour of Britain; just imagine the songs being sung on the bus as you make your way up every highway and down every byway. Accommodation is all sorted and restaurants all booked; all you have to concentrate on is the nooky. You will make lifelong friends on a trip like this and think of the slide evenings with family and friends upon your return.
For those into bondage we Brits have a soft spot for whips and chains; it is in our DNA so to speak. It is in our history, what with Henry the eighth and the Tower and all that. We will tie you down and torture you to your heart’s content. Dripping hot wax on your skin no problem, piss on you too, and even, kiss it better afterwards. Yes we love to slash about with things that hurt the skin and make you feel inferior and inadequate.
Come and discover sexual adventures in the UK; we welcome you!