Sex is sweeter for many when they feel that their partner is theirs to possess alone. That their intimate behaviour is private and personal, between, just the two of them. This is considered normal in our western societies today. Of course, when things go wrong and adultery is suspected, male partners often go berserk and try and kill their female partners. Jealousy is a green eyed monster, after all.
What about those few people who enjoy sharing their partners and themselves with others outside of the confines of their relationship or marriage? What is wrong with these people and why are they so different to the norm? Do they really care about their partners? We are not all the same, in terms of what we value as human beings; some of us do not want to possess our partners. In fact, we wish to share some beautiful deep moments with them but respect their individuality.
We are all, actually, alone inside our own consciousnesses. You may think and feel that you are almost a part of your spouse’s essential reality, but you are not. We will all die alone, someone may be holding your hand and sitting by the bed, but they are not you. Alone is not to be confused with lonely, respecting ‘aloneness’ is not the same as feeling lonely; quite the opposite. Separating your need for security from human relationships, or at least becoming aware of that need within your relationships, is the first step on the spiritual journey within the state of relationship or marriage.
If you love someone set them free! Someone once said something akin to that statement, it might of actually been about releasing lions into the wild; but it has relevance here too. Tantric wife swapping: when the sex gets spiritual, is a very crude way of putting this situation. Wife swapping as a term still reeks of patriarchal control and tantra steps beyond all that bullshit. It is about energy, satori and the kundalini fire; which will burn down the house of illusion. Tantra workshops can help set you free from your fears; and you can learn to trust your own experiences. Things like nuru massage, the body slide sensation, can get you out of your intellect and into your physical self. The mind does not have all the answers; much of it is full with other people’s opinions.